thanks a lot lothar for the answer.
so the cloth engine seems not to be the best to achieve the effect (its slow, gives intersections and the torus collapse on itself like its hollow, and i dont want it to feel hollow )
the second file works better. but still not ideal. i think that because of the way the particles are spawn its harder to get a convincing simulation.
i get a lot of weird intersections, with low res geometry. if i use high res geometry the sim is pretty nice, but kinda slow.
the cool thing about the tecnique i have used is that you can use a low amount of particles and you already get something nice. it would be very nice if i could also attach the geometry as well.
do you have any idea? thx!!